It’s a great pleasure to introduce you to Louise Day, Celebrant, who has completed both our Funeral Celebrant Training and our Wedding Celebrant Training. Louise is a wonderful writer, and I awarded her a Distinction for her Wedding course work as it was of an exceptional standard. She’s a listener, a natural story teller and above all else, a supporter of others. Her ability to stay focussed on others, and their needs, is going to be one of the key reasons she will be a remarkable Celebrant. She is based in Brentwood in Essex and offers ceremonies across South Essex.
What made you think about becoming a Celebrant?
Louise Day, Celebrant:
When my Mum died in April 2014, I was so moved by the compassion shown by the Funeral Directors and the Celebrant, that I felt that one day I would like to help families and loved ones in the same way. But it never really crossed my mind that I could do it.
Then a dear friend started working as a Celebrant around five years ago. Whenever I saw her I was touched by the way she talked about her work and the way she supports families. I’d always come away thinking: “What a fantastic job, I’d love to do that”. Then after seeing her in August 2024, I came away with the same thought, but this time it was followed by the realisation that I should just get on and do it.
The more I researched it, the more excited I became about the prospect. Being a Celebrant enables me to write – and I love writing. I love hearing people’s stories. Writing the story of someone’s life for loved ones to hear is such a privilege. I had attended Celebrant led funerals before and always found them to be engaging and deeply personal. Everyone has a story.
I owe a lot to that friend. She’s a wonderful person and has been a great support.
You took our Funeral Celebrant training first and I know you got your first funeral within a very short time. How did it feel to prepare and deliver your first ceremony?
Louise Day, Celebrant:
I was so pleased that the Funeral Directors contacted me. They are a local run family firm who knew I was new to this, so their support meant a lot. But then when the booking was confirmed I was terrified!… “Who did I think I was to be able to do this…?”
The next step was to speak to the Next of Kin – a young woman who’d agreed with her family that she would organise the funeral for her Grandad, who she adored. Speaking to her and hearing her vulnerability made me get myself together. She needed to feel safe and it was important to me – more than anything – that I enabled that.
I also contacted the Chapel Attendant at the Crematorium where the funeral was taking place & arranged to meet him beforehand and he talked me through all I needed to know about the venue. I attended two funerals, led by the Funeral Directors who contacted me. One was led by a Minister who was a very good friend of the deceased, so it was incredibly moving. Another was led by a local Celebrant, who took the time to speak with me afterwards – I had a good start with positive and supportive people around me.
But most of all the training I’d received – step-by-step from the Funeral Director’s phone call to after the funeral. The assignments were so valuable and provided me with an incredible insight to the role of the Celebrant.
Importantly, I practised, practised and practised (then practised again).
What had the training most prepared you for in this first experience?
Louise Day, Celebrant:
I pretty much used every part of my training in my approach to my first experience (and experience’s since). Particularly, how to effectively communicate with Funeral Directors and Next of Kin. The questions to ask that enable you to get to the essence of the person and the tools to have to hand to make the process as easy as possible – for you and for your client. Also, the importance of active listening and keeping that communication going throughout the time you’re working with the family, including after the ceremony.
The fact that it is their ceremony and not yours, that it’s their grief and not your grief, to be patient, not interrupt and to never assume – knowing the importance of understanding these things really helped.
Also, how much the family rely on you and there is only one chance to get it right. You might be paddling frantically but you mustn’t show the family that. If there’s a problem, be calm, measured and go in with a solution. Be open with your Funeral Director too – trust them, work together and keep in touch.
On the practical side, the writing of a ceremony from outline to full script – These sessions really helped me to believe in my writing skills. Especially the optional role play exercise, that was a really valuable lesson.
Tell us about what your previous roles have been and the transferable skills that you felt helped you as you moved into your Celebrant role.
Louise Day, Celebrant:
I left school with very little in terms of qualifications, but as a mature student gained a First in a BA (Hons) Media & Communication degree, and then A grades in Maths and Science GCSEs. Doing these really gave me confidence and for the last 34 years have worked in roles where research and writing were the main element, mainly in PR and Marketing. I worked for a local college writing prospectuses and brochures as well as press releases.
Having taken a career break when my children were born, I then worked in a local primary school as a Higher Level Teaching Assistant, researching, writing and delivering lessons to ages 4-11 years. I would work with children with educational needs and their families, as well as vulnerable children and the everyday upsets of being a 4-11 year old. Compassion and active listening was key and the understanding of individuality and being inclusive. Working in Public Sector has enabled me to understand a lot about my local area and the community I live in.
As well as being an Independent Celebrant I also volunteer with my Cockapoo, Maple, for Essex Therapy Dogs. Where once a week we visit a local care home where we visit residents and residents living with Dementia, and previously a local High School working with children with emotional and/or educational needs, and then on. Here you have to show sensitivity and understanding to many different behaviours.
Grief is overwhelming and people display so much vulnerability when overwhelmed. I can’t and don’t attempt to take away that overwhelm, but I hope I’m able to relieve it a little and give them the confidence that together we will write the perfect ceremony.
What was your favourite thing about your Celebrant training?
Louise Day, Celebrant:
Chats with Dinah. [end] and the writing tasks.
- What kind of ceremony are you most looking forward to creating?
Louise Day, Celebrant:
This is difficult because whether someone was appreciated, loved and devoured life or was someone who found things difficult and doesn’t leave much behind – both are deserving of a ceremony of equal love.
I would love the opportunity to do a Life Celebration – where perhaps there has been a Direct Cremation and there’s a Wake with no time constraints, a buffet and loads of memories being shared.
You’re taking your Wedding Celebrant training as we do this interview. What are you most looking forward to about this aspect of your work as a Celebrant?
Louise Day, Celebrant:
Where do I start? I am looking forward to meeting a couple at the start of their planning journey, listening to their ideas and being there for them right up until the day of their Wedding Ceremony, and then beyond. To work in collaboration and be part of their support network is an absolute privilege.
Tell me five things about Louise, the person, rather than the Celebrant.
Louise Day, Celebrant:
I love to dance…no formal training, just love doing it.
I’ve got a love of London….I grew up in South London and I have such great memories of bus trips into London with my Mum – whenever I go I think of her and it tugs at the heart strings.
I used to hate dogs…but then I went to a 9-week Cynaphobia (fear of dogs) Class with my youngest daughter who had a crippling fear of dogs. We were both smitten from the get-go and here I am now volunteering with my pup.
I love my family … And feel very lucky that I have two brothers and their families who I adore, a stepdad who’s always been there since my Mum died 11 years ago, and importantly, a husband and two fabulous teenage daughters who surprise me with their brilliance everyday.
I am an introvert and recently acknowledged that I have ADHD…. it’s been such a relief to realise that. I am on the waiting list for a diagnosis, which will probably take 2-3 years. But I’m settled with my own realisation.
What’s the thing you’re asked most often when you tell people you’re an Independent Celebrant?
Louise Day, Celebrant:
With regards to funerals, I’ve had a few people ask: “Don’t you cry?” or “Isn’t it a bit depressing”. But I don’t and it’s not. I’m not saying I’m emotionless – I am sure there will be experiences where I will waiver, but that just makes me human. As for being depressing, it isn’t – it really does feel such an honour. After family meetings and writing about someone, you feel a connection. Before I lead a coffin and Pallbearers down the aisle, when the entry music starts, I stand straight, shoulders back and say in my head: “Come on ****, I’ve got you”.
If it’s about being a Wedding Celebrant, a few of my friends have said they wish they weren’t married so I could marry them! That’s such a compliment.
Have you discovered anything new about yourself since becoming a Celebrant that has surprised you?
Louise Day, Celebrant:
I’m a person that says “sorry” a lot. But I have discovered a side of me that can pull everyone together and make them feel safe – never be too busy to reply, respond to a phone call or simply check-in. You are an important ally in their grief camp.
Also – my new found love of poetry has shocked me. I will claim that I never really understood it. But the power of beautiful words is incredible, and you can say so much in a written verse. If you can’t find me I’m usually in the Poetry section of a book shop (or a café).
You can connect with Louise, via her website or connect with her on Instagram