I wish I’d had a ceremony for this…

Two weeks ago, I stepped off a plane in Melbourne with my heart in my throat. I was about to meet my birth mother for the first time since she placed me for adoption when I was six weeks old. She was seventeen then, living in London, making an impossible decision. I was now meeting her as an adult, along with siblings I hadn’t known existed until the end of last year. A brother. Two sisters. A whole part of my story that had been hidden.

We spent two weeks together, and it was extraordinary. Talking late into the night, sharing stories that spanned decades, speaking about our hopes and our fears. We found connections in unexpected places; a shared gesture, a similar laugh, the way we all tilted our heads when listening intently. It was profound in ways I’m still processing.

As I flew home, exhausted and emotionally full, one thought kept circling through my mind: I wish we’d had a ceremony for this.

Not a party, exactly. Not a simple family dinner. But a ceremony—something intentional and meaningful that acknowledged what had just happened. A ritual to mark the reconnection of a family that had been separated by time, circumstance, and an ocean. A moment to speak aloud what we all felt but struggled to put into words.

That’s when it hit me: this is what we do as celebrants. And we need to do more of it.

Beyond the Big Three

When most people think of celebrants, they think of weddings, funerals, and perhaps baby namings. These are beautiful, essential ceremonies. But they’re not the only moments that deserve to be marked.

My experience in Melbourne made me realise how many significant life events pass by uncelebrated, unacknowledged, unmarked. We move through these profound transitions and we just… carry on. We post about them on social media, perhaps, or mention them to friends. But we don’t pause. We don’t gather. We don’t create the space these moments deserve.

Think about it:

• Family reunions and reconnections like mine, adoptees meeting birth families, estranged relatives reconciling, families blending after remarriage
• Significant life transitions. retirement, empty nesting, coming out, gender affirmation, surviving serious illness
• Milestone achievements. completing addiction recovery, earning a degree later in life, publishing a first book, starting a business
• Endings that need honouring. divorce ceremonies, business closures, moving away from a beloved home
• Relationship celebrations beyond marriage. friendship anniversaries, chosen family gatherings, renewing commitment in a long-term partnership

Each of these moments changes us. Each represents a before and an after. And each deserves the dignity of acknowledgment.

The Power of Ritual

As celebrants, we understand something that the wider world often forgets: ceremony matters. Ritual gives shape to emotion. It transforms internal experience into shared meaning. It allows us to say, collectively, “This moment counts. We witness this change. We honour this transition.”

When we officiate a wedding, we’re not just reading pretty words. We’re helping two people cross a threshold together, with their community bearing witness. When we lead a funeral, we’re creating space for grief to be expressed and memories to be shared. This is powerful work.

And this same power can be applied to so many more moments in life.

An Invitation to Expand

If you’re a new celebrant, or thinking about becoming one, I want to encourage you to think bigger. Don’t limit yourself to the ceremonies that everyone already knows about. Look for the gaps. Listen for the moments when people say, “I wish there was something we could do to mark this.”

Because there is. And you can create it.

Start conversations. When someone mentions a significant life event, ask them: “Have you thought about marking this with a ceremony?” Educate your community about the possibility of celebration beyond the traditional. Share stories (with permission, of course) about unusual ceremonies you’ve created or heard about.

The beauty of celebrancy is that it’s endlessly adaptable. We’re not bound by religious doctrine or legal requirements. We can craft ceremonies that are as unique as the people and moments they celebrate. We can invent new rituals, blend traditions, and create space for whatever needs to be honoured.

A Growing Practice

As I settle back into life at home, I’m still thinking about that ceremony I wish I’d had. Perhaps I’ll still create one; a delayed acknowledgment, a chance to say the words that need saying.

But more than that, I’m committed to helping others find these moments of celebration in their own lives. To asking the question: “What in your life deserves to be marked?” To offering the gift of ceremony when it’s needed most.

Because here’s what I know now, more than ever: life gives us countless reasons to celebrate. Not just the weddings and the births and the farewells, but the reunions, the transformations, the quiet triumphs, and the brave new beginnings.

Let’s celebrate more. Let’s create the ceremonies that don’t exist yet. And let’s help people honour the moments that matter.

That’s the work. And it’s beautiful.

If you’re looking for help to build your celebrant business, I’d love to talk. Book a free 20 minute call with me and let’s explore your possibilities.