I read the eulogy at Mum and Don’s service and it was a privilege. I knew this next chapter was an opportunity to bring what I have and continue to learn, to support others, but I wasn’t clear exactly how. Then I was approached by the Funeral Director of Don’s service, a friend, to ask if I had considered becoming a Celebrant… and so the journey started to unfold.
The Funeral Director and Celebrant or Minister will be your support team and expect you to ask them for help. They deal with the situation you are worrying about regularly. If they don’t have the answer themselves, they will know who to ask. We tend to be ‘brave’ and ‘cope’ with more than we need to when we are dealing with grief.
Leaving clear instructions about what we want to happen when we die, is a useful and sensible thing to do, and here-in starts the problem. When we die, those who love us are feeling pain and loss, they are often ‘holding it together’ for the sake of others and they are not feeling useful or sensible. They are now the ones who need to be looked after; not you. I know, that sounds a little harsh, but it is those who mourn our passing who would benefit the most from deciding how to honour us and what they want to include to help them grieve.
I would love to hold a Life Celebration at the beach, hearing the waves in the background and having that wonderful expanse of sky behind us. To have lots of music, drinks and dancing after the Committal with lots of people wanting to share their memories of the person – with no time limits!